I’m not naive to the fact that my dad had an entire life before me. But I’m knowledgeable enough to know that I simply had the best years of his. By time I came around my dad was wise & smart & aged in all the right ways. He understood me in a way I don’t think most kids my age parents could. He didn’t get mad at me often, in fact we hardly fought. He was always there, no matter what I needed. Even if he said no at first he always, always figured out a way to be there for me how ever I needed. His other kids might have figured they had his best years because he was young when they were young, but I never needed that. Mine & my dads relationship was unlike any other. He was my best friend. He loved using Snapchat filters with me, and having dessert with lunch, and watching general hospital with me even tho I had no idea what was going on… even tho I always insisted I did.
Right now I’m lucky enough that I have him still so ill finish this on a day that I don’t. Hopefully I still have years for that.
My dads birthday is next week…. 81 … I’m only 25. If you asked me right now my biggest fear, my only fear is him not making it to see me walk down the aisle. Of course, my brother could always walk me, I don’t think he’d fight me on it, he’s the second most important man to me. But every little girl wants her dad to do that for her. It’s not my fault there’s so many years between us…. 56. But he brought me into this world & I won’t let him leave until I say it’s okay. After all, I’m his little girl, he doesn’t want to let me down. Not that he ever could. I’m crying as I write this, I don’t ever want to picture a world without him. That’s my best friend. He’ll bail me out of anything, he’d fight the devil to get me outta hell.
When I first met you, I felt a kind of contradiction in you. You’re seeking something, but at the same time, you are running away for all you’re worth.
“I caught you looking at me
the way you do
when you say
you love me
without speaking
and in that moment
on the coldest day of winter
my heart was warm”